I am writing this listening to Rivals by Usher (on repeat). So I am single been that way for the past three years. My last relationship left me sort of jaded, broken and it crushed my ability to trust easily.
Coming from a relationship, that had all your walls down, when you saw a self build a family and future with the person, it leaves a person broke, when things don’t work out.
The good thing is my bullshit meter is through the roof, I stopped listening to the words guys, said to me and started watching they actions. I had been not listening and not taking the saying “Actions Speak Louder Than Words’ but I have started putting it to work.
I am at a point in my life where I want a man, not a boy, Someone I can build a future with, grow and evolve with and build a business empire with. Dating in this day and age is hard especially for a girl who is an introvert, but is a bitch on a regular day (I have a resting bitch face that doesn’t seem to go away) and rarely smiles anymore.
The reason I have been single this long, I had to heal, get to over my best friend’s death and most of all I had to find myself again, I need to relearn the person I am and try to recover parts of that I had given away, plus I didn’t need and distraction when it came to concentrating in school, and I really didn’t have the time or the mental or emotional capacity to handle some else emotions apart from my own.
If you ask me if I am ready to start dating, I would say yes I am but I am also terrified to put my self out there again. I am Letting Go and Letting God, when it comes to finding love, so I am going to try a change the image I am of my ideal man, I have in my head but I am not going to settle for anything less than I deserve.
Signing Out Ramblings Of A Kenyan Girl