Hello month of April, hope y’all are good……
I know I have been lost lately but I have been a bit busy and lazy and a little out of inspiration, so am going post two blog post today just to make up for it, the first one i wrote in my other blog a little over a year ago when I experienced one of my worst fears coming true but i never posted was meaning to but never found the right time to do so, but i thing it is time i share it with y’all.
One of my worst fears came to pass,and the most shocking thing happened……. I lost a close friend of mine I considered him my best friend, family,brother because he was always there to pull me out of the darkness, hold my hand when i decided to take a walk in that same darkness,understood my darkness, talked me off the ledge a couple of times, always gave the best advice, so he was kinda my other half,he kept me grounded most of the time.
Isn’t it funny when death comes is when you start thinking of things, like when was the last time you talked to that person,the last time you heard their voice ,last time you saw them ,you wished you spent more time with them in my case I remember most of it,the last time I hangout with my best friend was a week before I left Kenya, we went out he got me drunk and we had the times of our lives I remember thinking how am going to miss him most of all,last time I heard his voice was last year and the last thing I said to him was asking how he was doing although he told me not to worry I told him I can’t stop the last message I sent him was asking him to get my things from my ex. I have go through the motions,I realised I don’t have a photo of me and him together, in the six years i have known him i have photos of him yes but of us together none it one of things that never crossed my mind cause i always thought we have time to do that.
I lost my best friend,the pain,emptiness I feel is so gut wrenching because I know I won’t have the one person I knew I could count one apart from my family. I remember when he was sick I was holding my breath cause it was so bad I thought I was going to lose him and kept thinking what am I going to do if I lose him, well I guess I need to start figuring it out,like how am going to shut down my brain,who is going to bullshit my bullshit,how to talk myself out of things and who will always have my back and be my constant
It is hard finding a best friend who loves unconditionally,who will do all the crazy things with you and who tell you everything is going to be okay even if you know it won’t,I have to live a life without you in it,you won’t get to grill the man I marry,you won’t get to be uncle raffy to my kids,I won’t get to grill the woman who finally made you settle down,I won’t get to meet your kids.
I remember when we meet,we almost hooked up,I don’t how we became best friends but we just clicked and never let go of that friendship,you made my life better,you made me laugh,won’t be able to see most of my tattoos without thinking of you because you were there when I got them,sat through my pain.
You thought me, how to be better person, patient most of the time, till now I can’t fathom how we became so close, in the six years i have known you have been the best of my life and i love every second i spent them with you
So am going to try really hard not to cry,and remember all the good times we shared cause I never had a dull moment with you,you listened to my drama advised me on what to do,so if I don’t come home anytime soon don’t hold it against me cause they to many memories
Rest in peace Raffy,hope you found peace and thank you for touching my life and soul you will forever be my guardian angel.. I love you,I will miss you very much cause you have left a hole in my heart and life that will never be filled. Thank you for teaching me what true friendship is
Ps. Since I know your hanging out with God and all,n I know you kinda hated every guy I have dated,my last favor am asking is I know u already meet him and you approve can you please send him my way,earlier then expected. And finally the empire am going to build will always Have you in mind.
Song of the blog: See You Again: Charlie Puth Ft Wiz Khalifa
Signing out Ramblings of a Kenyan Girl